another emo post. not emo because of rs, but of life. i seriously see not much meaning in life.

my life has been quite dead:
school on weekdays, work on weekends.
and im totally drained out. i need time to rest, and the only time i can rest is on weekends. but i need to work weekends. and sometimes i work full shift on both days. earliest is 10am, latest is 12pm. i don't have sufficient rest, i don't spend quality time with my friends and family.

ivy and i are doing the same old thing everyday in school. no progress, no results. seriously we are tired of these kind of life. we're doing seperating column everyday - and we can do up to 7pm! at this rate when are we going to finish up our project? will we be able to have sept and oct holiday?

and sometimes i really wonder why do we need to study so much.
look at my sister, she spent 16years studying! now she graduated with a degree, but that doesn't mean with that degree she bring her to the top of the world. i don't mean that her degree is useless or what.
but look at some people, they don't have much education yet they hold high positions in big companies, some people with qualifications hold low positions. does it mean that the more you study the more achievements you will have in life?

when people ask me, what can you do after you graduate?
i seriously have no idea.
where can a diploma bring me to?
lab technician in some secondary school, washing testtubes, preparing chemicals for experiments?

this is the list of career opportunities for my course:

• Life science research centres; in bioinformatics and medical research support activities, the maintenance of equipment, and specialist procedures.
• Pharmaceutical manufacturing firms; in process and quality control.
• Hospitals; in the operation and maintenance of specialised medical equipment.
• Wholesale and retail firms; in the marketing and sales of medical devices and equipment, and in after sales service, e.g.: commissioning and maintenance of equipment, and customer training.

i don't think companies want a fresh diploma holder to do these jobs. then what are we going to do then?

i don't feel like spending another 3 years in university, because i don't know where will the degree bring me. and those who know me well, you know im not the sort who can really study. yes, even though im very enthusiastic at first, but after some time this kind of spirit just go away.

and sometimes i wonder why do i have to work so hard, when my employer doesn't treat me as employee, but a slave.
for those who didn't know, i have a hole on my right ear and sometimes there'll be pus coming out from that hole. like last sunday the hole got infection and started to discharge pus (profusely?) and there's a little pain near the hole. the pain feels like blue black but it will be okay after few days.

but this time the hole is badly infected, and my right ear is badly swollen. it's very pain even though i don't touch it and i have to depend on painkillers if not the pain will kill me. and i don't know if it has something to do with the hole, i feel very giddy this few days. i cannot stand upright or walk straight.

i went for lunch today before going to work and then i took my medication. after that i felt so giddy and i feel like puking. i don't know why but i really cannot stand straight. the whole world is like floating. so i had no choice i called my employer:

me: hello XXX. im sorry i cannot go to work today. im really not feeling well.
i start work at 2pm, i called her at 1pm. i know it's last minute but i don't think i can really work if i go to work.
XXX: how can like that? you know what time alr not?
me: ya i know, but im very sorry. im really not feeling well and i cannot even stand up straight.
XXX: ok i call the shop first then i call you back on your hse phone.
XXX: then you go see a doctor and let me know if you have mc.
me: im going to see a doctor in the evening
XXX: WEEKENDS DON'T HAVE DOCTOR ONE. WHY YOU CANNOT GO TO 24HRS DOCTOR.
(caps denote she's shouting at me)
me: the one opposite my place only opens at 6.30 in the evening

she thinks what? i don't go to work and go out? and she'll call my house phone to spot check me? WTF!

so she called me back after that,
XXX: you changed slot with girl A?
me: ya
XXX: who is supposed to be at where?
me: im supposed to be at suntec, girl A is supposed to be vivo. so now she went to suntec, im supposed to be at vivo.
XXX: WHO ASK YOU TO CHANGE ONE!
me: girl A told me she informed you last night.
XXX: ..... (i cannot remember what she said, but it just feels like she's putting the blame on us)
XXX: then you see doctor alr?
me: nope, im going in the evening
XXX: EVENING WHERE GOT DOCTOR ONE! WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE 24HOURS ONE?
me: the one opposite my place opens at 6.30pm!
XXX: BY EVENING YOU WILL BE OK ALR WHAT. THEN WHAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN MC .............
me: im sure he will give me mc. i went to see the doctor yesterday and he gave me only 1 day of mc. now im going back to get another 2 days. and im on medication.
XXX: ok.. you all cannot like that one. now i not enough people. got so many things to settle.................

i don't think i deserved to be shouted at. im really not feeling well and you expect me to go work? what if i work halfway and i couldn't take it or i faint somewhere? wouldn't it be more troublesome for you? BAH.

after i see the doctor, i called XXX but no reply. so i sent her a message:
me: hi XXX, i went to the doctor alr and i got mc.
she: how many days?
me: 2 days. is it ok for me to tell you tmr morning around 9am if i can go to work?
she: ok. thank you. have a good rest.

if only she's so polite right from the start. what's the point for shouting at me and then say till so nicely? just like i slap her and tell her im sorry, can? =\

and somemore, im still waiting for my pay!!!!
argh.

and i realised im too angry to continue blogging! =\

♥ 11:40:00 PM